Christopher Nolan's a good guy. He's been a total gentleman: treated you well all evening, opened all the right doors for you, pulled out all the right chairs. But just because a guy buys you dinner, that doesn't mean you owe him a blowjob. Even if that dinner was The Dark Knight.
And let's not kid ourselves. The Dark Knight is the only reason Nolan's balls are resting on your chin right now. You're not teasing his glans with your tongue because of Tom Hardy's Bane.
He caught your eye with Memento. Wow! This guy, he seemed so deep, so intellectual! Then he flashed you that sultry, seductive, Batman Begins smile, and you were hooked. Your heart raced. This guy might finally wash away those awful Bruckheimer years! Nolan was so raw, so confident! Was it getting warm in here?
Well, by the end of The Dark Knight, you were starting to feel a little drunk. It's okay, it happens to the best of us. That Joker is some pretty potent stuff.
But everyone looks better through that intoxicated cloud. So you overlooked the signs, the little red flags that said maybe Nolan wasn't really all that. You excused his pretentous posturing while he rambled through Inception. Did your best to ignore his boorish, chest-thumping bluster during The Dark Knight Rises.
Now you've made it to the end of Interstellar, and, well...
Well for fuck's sake, you'll give the guy head just to shut him up and get this night over with.
But you don't have to do it! You don't owe it to him, and you're not doing either of you any favors!
Sure, the evening could have gone better, but it doesn't necessarily have to be a wash. Who knows, maybe your earlier impression wasn't far off. Nobody who makes The Dark Knight can be all bad, right? Sure, the writing got a bit clunky at times, and the morals were alternately ham-fisted or oddly ambiguous. But that fucking JOKER, right?
Maybe Nolan's worth another shot. Maybe he just got a bit flustered and overeager to follow his best moment with something equally impressive, rather than moving slowly, deliberately, and letting this courtship progress naturally.
One thing's for sure, though: he's got no incentive to do better when blowjobs come this easy.
So how about you pull that thing out of your mouth, wipe off your chin, and politely call it a night? Give the both of you a little time to cool off, get some distance, and come back fresh at a later date. This guy needs to slow it down and consider his next move with more care.
Maybe this time the he could try taking a little longer than two years to churn out another "masterpiece".
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